Tender Mercies

I had a really hard time after I had Maycee.

I don't know how to explain it.

After having Maycee, it was supposed to be one of the most happy moments of my life.

All I did was cry.

I didn't know how to stop crying.

It was a really depressing time for me.  It only lasted for about two weeks, but that was the longest two weeks of my life.

Through most of this pregnancy, the afterwards was the time that I was dreading the most.  I didn't want to feel that way again.

I prayed a lot.

My mom was here helping me for a week.  That woman is my hero.  I love my mom SO much and she is an amazing example to me and is so willing to do anything to help, but I knew that at some point I was going to have to be on my own.  She went back to the farm last Friday.

Friday and Saturday were two rough days for me.

I felt myself slipping into that feeling again and I was struggling against it.

Stephen asked me of I wanted a blessing on Saturday night.

I said yes.

He blessed me that I would have the strength and the courage to take care of both of my children.  He also told me that Heavenly Father would help me if I would only have the faith.

That night I prayed that we would have sun on Monday.  My first day by myself.  I thought it was a silly thing to ask for, but cloudy days depress me.  Clouds were in the forecast all last week and were projected for the week ahead.  I just asked for one day of sun, but I knew that it might not be possible.

I woke up Monday morning and felt really good.  I didn't feel the cloud of sadness.  As the day started, I noticed the sun rise.  The sun.  Monday was sunny.  All day.

I am so thankful for the little things that are really big things.