The last few weeks my body has really deteriorated. I feel like I am in constant pain. When I feel like I am doing well, it decides to shoot right through my body. Pain is a constant.
As much as I hate to admit it, I have been using my pain as an excuse to be cranky, irritable, and moody. It's been rough. The central focus of my attitude has massed upon Maycee and Cooper. My poor kids have had to handle a 'cranky mama,' so to speak.
Today is Wednesday.
I have been dreading this day since Sunday.
Stephen went to Garden Valley with the youth in our ward. He was home for about 10 minutes after work and then headed off. He will probably roll in around midnight.
The only reason I've been dreading this night is because of bedtime. Bedtime has turned into an awful 1 to 2 hour session of temper tantrums and refusal to sleep. I really didn't think I could handle it by myself. I've been praying for help since Sunday.
Bedtime came at 8pm.
Cooper went down, and then a few minutes later, Maycee went down.
I didn't hear a peep out of them.
Silence.
I didn't write this to get sympathy. Or to have people worry about my condition. (I'm talking about you Grandma....) I wrote this to remind myself, and anyone else who would care to read this, that Heavenly Father is there and He loves me. He's not going to take away my problems, or make everything better. I need to grow. BUT He will help me if I ask with faith.
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