The Funeral

My companion is being put to rest.

It has taken numerous beatings over the last two and a half years. It has met asphalt, concrete, rock, linoleum, or anything that incidentally has been under my feet.

Yes, my motorola phone of the ancientiest kind is being replaced by a fancy new nokia.

I still can't figure out how it works...

p.s. If anyone wants my new number call me on the old number, I'll still have it for a bit.

White Elephant

Ever since I can remember, my parents have always had animals at our house. We've had bajillions of cats, some dogs, and a few rabbits. ALL of these animals have been outside pets...until Rizzo.

Rizzo in a cat. He was born about four or five months ago with three kitty siblings. Those kitty siblings were literally "loved to death" by the other new pet addition, Emmett. Emmett is a very lovable, very in your face, very much so puppy. He really liked playing with those new little baby kittens, but they just didn't last through his loving.

My little sister, Karli, was devastated by the loss of the kittens and took the last one in as her own. Being the youngest child, she has quite the persuasive skills. My mother caved and allowed Karli to take the baby kitten inside.

This cat has really become a nuisance to almost everyone that enters my parent's house. Rizzo loves to follow people around. He hates to be alone, even when he sleeps. He also has to sleep under the covers. Rizzo also hates to sleep with Karli, ironic.

A month ago while I was talking to my dad on the phone, he periodically would yell at Rizzo. Things like, "Stupid cat," "go bother somone else," or my favorite, "WHY IS THIS CAT IN THE HOUSE?!" Dad then asked me if I wanted a cat. I said, "If you give me $50, I will take that cat off of your hands."

Dad's reply, "...okay!"

That little deal fell through. Karli was not going to let that cat out of the house.

For Christmas this year, Stephen and I went to my parents house. We had decided earlier, that every person was going to bring a white elephant gift to the Christmas party. The rules: you couldn't spend money on the gift and whatever present you opened you took home...regardless.

On Wednesday night everyone gathered downstairs and put our individually wrapped gifts in the corner of the room. Dad was the last one to enter the room with his gift and a characteristic grin that told everyone who knew him that he was up to something.

I looked at Dad and said, "Dad! You have that look. What did you do?"

He ignored me and told me to start the game. Being the youngest, Karli was the first one to pick a present. Before Karli could even get out of her chair, Kory yelled, "THAT PRESENT IS MOVING!"

We all turned to look at the green package that had another gift on top of it. The green package shook and Karli yelled, "DID YOU WRAP MY CAT?!?"

That was too much for Dad, he broke down in a fit of laughter. He had wrapped Rizzo! That man was really desperate. And I'm sure that he wanted to get a laugh.

To watch the unwrapping of Rizzo, see video below: This is Krystal's husband Shane.

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

My kids in primary love to try and scare me. They have never succeeded, but they keep trying. Almost all of them get to the classroom before me. They turn off the lights and find a place to hide in the classroom. Some hide behind the door, some hide under the table, some behind the chairs. They now, however, have found a new hiding place...the garbage can. I don't know what it is with boys and garbage cans, but they really seem to have a fascination with it.

When I walked in the classroom on Sunday, they again tried to scare me. I tried a new tactic to try and get them to calm down. I started to sing church Christmas songs to them while setting the classroom up. It worked for all of them except for my two trouble makers, Billy and Sam.

All of the class with the exception of the two boys sat in their chairs and began to sing with me. My two boys decided to be kind to one another and at least share the garbage can. Let me help you picture these two. Billy and Sam had their heads underneath the garbage can with their heads facing one another. I tried and I tried to get that thing off of their heads, but forcing them to do it, just made them run right back to it. Finally, I turned to the rest of the class and said, "Okay kids, we need to give Billy and Sam some time alone while they are kissing!"

I have never seen Sam so quick in being obedient. He ripped that garbage can off of his head and said, "Gross! We're not kissing, we're boys!"

I had a really hard time suppressing my giggles as I began class. That was fun.

Gingerbread Men

So, I began a project about a week or so ago. This "little" project was supposed to be a half day project. You know, the project that was on the small side. That teeny project turned into about three days.

As most of you know, Stephen and I got up way before the early crack of dawn to get ourselves a Christmas tree. As we are newlyweds and don't have every decoration that you have after being married, for say, twenty-six years. We decided that we would only buy a Christmas tree and make our decorations this year. This is where my little project comes in. I decided that I wanted to make gingerbread men to put on the tree.

I have never made gingerbread men before, so I got online to find a recipe. I have found this website for recipes that I really like, and so that was the first place that I looked. http://www.allrecipes.com/ Good site, check it out. Anyway, back to my gingerbread men. I wanted to get a recipe that was really bad, so that no one would have any temptation to eat them. I found the perfect recipe when I found this comment after the ingredients, "There is something wrong with this recipe! No eggs? I'm not certain, but it tasted so bad, I threw out the entire batter, after only baking 1 tray of the cookies!"

I had found my perfect gingerbread men!

There are a lot more things that you need to make these things than just a recipe. I didn't really think about the other things. You need cookie cutters and frosting and little baggies to put the frosting in to decorate. You also need those little tips for the frosting bags, but I forgot those. I did without and nothing was really straight, but oh well!

As I said, this project took me three days to complete, but it was really a lot of fun. I ended up having 92 gingerbread men on my Christmas tree. Here is the final look.

Kids are so smart

On Sunday my primary lesson was on the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. I was really excited going into the lesson because I had a really fun game prepared that I figured they would enjoy.

When I got to class, I knew teaching that day would be difficult. We had our first big snow the night before and ALL of the kids were so antsy to go out and play. Every time I asked a question that pertained to the lesson all of their little hands shot up. I soon began to realize that all of the hands just wanted to talk about the snow, not church.

I took out a picture of Christ. They picture is an artist's depiction of what it will look like when He comes again. Christ is coming out of the clouds surrounded by trumpeting angels and underneath Him is a desert land. As soon as I took out the picture, my little Jane raised her hand. I said, "Jane, does your question have to do with the lesson?" She said no, and so I told her to wait until after the first bell. When she figured out that I was going to skip over her, she said, "Wait! It has to do with the lesson." I gave in and let her have her say.

Jane went off for about three minutes about how one time she was riding in the car and she was looking at the clouds. She thought that one of the clouds looked like a man...I guess the picture must have triggered it.

Getting back on to the lesson again was a little more difficult. The kids were getting restless. My class clown, who I will call Sam, always seems to help with the restless, anti-pay-attention effort. Sunday was no exception. He had brought a long green ribbon that he tried to tie people up with. He only put the ribbon away after I threatened to tie the ribbon in his hair and make him look like a girl. That one worked. One point, Sister Post!

I continued to tell the kids about the Second Coming when Sam raised his hand. I looked at Sam and asked, "Does it have to do with the lesson?" He hesitated and said, "Well, it kind of has to do with the lesson. I just have a question." I was ready for him to say almost anything. Anything except for what he said. This was his question: "When Jesus comes again will anyone come with Him?"

I must say that I was quite shocked. I don't think that I have ever seen Sam be serious. I had to hide my surprise. I had actually never even thought of that before. I really couldn't answer his question. I told him to ask his Dad and that I didn't know. Wow, I really love teaching these kids. I going to be really sad when I lose them in January. :(

Go Long!

Last night Stephen and I went to Fred Meyer to purchase some Lego's. Long story, anyway Morgan, Stephen's friend, came with us. Let me just tell you...Lego's are expensive!

While we were looking for the perfect Lego's, Stephen and Morgan found random things in the kids isle to play with. The gold, however, was the football.

I really stink at sports. I've made a fool of myself, time and time again, just to prove to others that not all farm girls are athletic. Now don't get me wrong, I love to play sports, but I am horrible. No one ever wants me on their team.

As Stephen pulled the Nerf football from the bin he started to scoot back. "Kami...catch!"

I backed up, hoping that Morgan would catch the ball. No such luck.

Have you ever watched kids play ball? I mean, little kids. You know when they hold their hands out and they blink really fast, just in case they need to close them quickly. If the ball hits them in the head. That is what I looked like. And, of course, I missed the ball.

As the ball soared passed me I at least had my hands out with the idea of catching it. As I missed the ball, I heard someone chuckle to the left of me. I turned to see a man in his mid-thirties, trying to hide the fact that he was laughing at me. Just as I saw the man, Morgan was right behind me and said, "Hike!" As he 'hiked' the ball to me I again missed. The man to my left was going to lose all composure, so he quickly walked out of the isle. Stephen and Morgan didn't even see him as he snuck away.

Good thing I already have high self esteem and don't need others to boost me. Honestly though, it was pretty funny.

Glenn Beck

For those of you who know me very well, you know that I am a HUGE Glenn Beck fan. A while back I got Stephen to listen to him and has now come to the same conclusion that I have...Glenn Beck rocks. For part of my Christmas, Stephen took me to see his Christmas show. I have wanted to go to one of those shows forever. I was not disappointed.

One of the great things about Glenn Beck is that he tells things as he sees them. He doesn't have an agenda and he isn't looking to get people's praise. He just tells the truth. His latest project has been a book called The Christmas Sweater. For those of you who have never heard of this book, you should really get it. It is just simple and pure and true!

The show was just a stage view of the book. Glenn was basically showing the entire population of people that came to see his show that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real.

I just want to add my two cents in with Glenn. WE CAN BE WHO WE WANT TO BE!! WE CAN BE FORGIVEN AND WE CAN CHANGE. That is the TRUE message of Christmas. Christ was born so that He could die. For us. Remember.

Target

Yesterday, Stephen and I went to Target to get a few miscellaneous items, and somehow got lost. I know this sounds a little weird, but I turned to look at some movies and Stephen went to go get a cart. We didn't see each other again for another thirty minutes. Yeah, we were lost.

As I wandered around Target three times, I came across a little family. I passed a Dad pushing his cart following his little girl of about two to three years old. She was cute! The little girl was giggling profusely.

As I passed them and was well in front of them I heard the Dad say, "Olivia...lets see how fast you can run!"

Immediately I heard little feet begin to race across the floor, all the while she was still giggling. I was kind of giggling under my breath at her infectious laughter when I felt a little person run into the back of the legs. I turned around and saw the little Olivia. Her eyes were wide open in complete astonishment. You could tell there was a little bit of fear in her eyes. She had no idea who I was.

I looked down at her and smiled. "It's okay," I said.

"Sorry," she quietly said, as she ran back to her Dad.

Kids are so funny!

Oh, and don't worry, I found Stephen.

Why God Made Moms

I received this forward from my Mom this morning. To allow more people to experience this wonderful forward, I decided to post it on my blog. Enjoy!

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.